Confidence in Your Abilities


The following is an excerpt from my latest release “Johnny Pain’s Guide to Success in Personal Training”. This segment addresses the importance of confidence in your ability to provide value to others, as well as the self-doubt that sidelines many from making the effort. Enjoy!

Whenever two or more people are communicating, and rapport has been established, the person with the most confidence and certainty in the room will have the most influence over the others. This is an accepted rule in NLP.

If you do not have confidence in your ability to deliver the goods to your clients, how can you expect them to have confidence in you and/or find value in your service?

This is an important chapter since a lack of confidence is one of the most common ailments that new, would-be trainers must overcome in my experience. It is incredibly common for a coaching client to cite this condition as a prime factor impeding him or her from pursuing a new business venture.

I frequently hear that a client lacks experience in helping others, and therefore does not feel that they are qualified to train anyone else “just yet”. Interestingly enough these tend to be the same people who express that they feel that they should obtain some sort of trainer certification before taking their first client. The obvious riddle there being that upon receipt of a certification, they still would suffer from the same lack of experience in applying the ideas; ideas which they often don’t agree with in the first place, but view the study of, and testing on, as necessary evils to get into the training world.

I commonly ask these people how they will ever get experience training others if experience is training others is a requirement for them to begin.

It sounds pretty silly doesn’t it?

This is just one of the limiting beliefs that can prevent a person from moving forward with an idea which they are passionate about, and which could prove to be extremely rewarding to them both internally and financially. Those who suffer from beliefs of this sort condemn themselves to a life of mediocrity in terms of fulfillment and often income as well.

You do not need a wealth of experience in order to be an effective trainer. That is not to say that you will not become more skilled as you gain experience, it simply means that a person is capable of being extremely valuable to another with a minimal amount of practically applicable knowledge. All that is ultimately required is that the trainer possess a passion for delivering value, and that they have apply the “four pillars of NLP” described in the previous chapter.



“Coach JP”

This past year my five-year-old son Geno’s mother signed him up for Tee Ball. Remembering my own Tee Ball experiences as a boy, I was excited for him to start. I recalled how much I enjoyed the practices and games as a kid. I loved making new friends and got quite a thrill from each well-fielded play, homerun, or even base hit. I was stoked at the idea that he would be creating those memories as well.

Being the busy guy that I am, his mother did all of the communicating with the league officials to organize his involvement. I told her to pass along the idea that I was willing to participate as an assistant coach when I could. She did just that and, to my surprise, I was contacted directly by the man who headed up the league the next day. He informed me that they were experiencing a major shortage of coaches this year, and that it may not be possible to have as many teams as previous years if people were not willing to step up as head coaches.

He cited the declining economy as a major factor in the decrease in parent involvement.

 “Nobody can take the time off work” he said.

He asked me if I thought that I would be able to commit to being head coach for my son’s team. I immediately began to think of how busy I was, and how “difficult” it would be for me to get away. I then remembered that a significant factor in electing to follow my chosen path of entrepreneurship was the flexibility to attend and be involved with events like this for my kids where my father simply was not able.

I agreed to be head coach for Geno’s team. The director was ecstatic and told me that he would be in touch with details.

After I hung up the phone it set in what I had just committed myself to. I hadn’t had any involvement with the game of baseball since about the fifth grade. I am not particularly well versed in the rules of the game and, despite having been an “all star” every year that I played, had no experience playing at any sort of higher level.

I found myself experiencing apprehension about taking on a new challenge, something that I coach people how to do on a daily basis. I was demonstrating the same pattern of limiting beliefs that many of my clients had suffered from, and I had to take a minute and laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

I work with people from all over the world on a daily basis, helping them to overcome “obstacles” on their path to success and achieve great things. Here I was, scared of the idea of coaching a team of four, five, and six year olds.

I thought back to my coaches as a boy. These men were heroes to me. None of them had played baseball at any respectable level, and none of them even looked like they got off of the couch all that much. Nonetheless I respected them immensely and remember much about each of them to this day, including all of the valuable life lessons learned on and off of the field.

Ironically following this line of thinking, during a trip to a convenience store to buy a cup of coffee, I ran into one of my old coaches in the checkout line. We spoke briefly, the usual chatter, and I informed him that I was going to be head coach of my son’s team this year.

 “That’s great! You’ll have a blast! Those were some of the best times. That was one of my favorite parts of my kid’s childhood. I still remember you as my man on the mound. I always knew if the ball stayed on the ground off of the tee that you would get me an out at first, throwing to Bryan Arena”.

His response was immensely reassuring that I had made the right decision. I could tell that now, over twenty years later, his experience was quite memorable and special to him. I could not believe that he remembered my performance as well. He was naming kids on the team and referencing games that we had played. Clearly this experience had been as valuable for him as it had been for me.

I was now fired up as could be to take on this new challenge.

I had to remember that although my knowledge of the game was not extensive by adult standards, I knew much more about baseball than these kids did. Since I was primarily tasked with teaching them the game, directing “traffic” so to say, and seeing to it that everyone had a good time, I would be immensely valuable to each of them.

The season went phenomenally well. All of the kids took extremely well to me, even those who I was especially hard on. I didn’t take any bullshit from them, and definitely did not tolerate any of them back talking or otherwise disrespecting their mothers in my presence.

I quickly became a hit with the parents, many who asked me by the second game if I would definitely be coaching next year so that they could be sure that their kid would be on my team.

We were the only team in the league that warmed up with push-ups, calisthenics, sprints, and buddy carries. We also had an impressive array of “war cries” and military style challenge and response “chants”, which I would initiate during games; a perpetual hit with the parents and spectators.

When the season ended, my team presented me with a special award. All of the parents, as well as the man who headed the league thanked me. I felt great about what I had done. I knew that I had mattered to these kids, and had provided them value through my involvement in their lives.

Recently, while out to eat with some friends, I was “ambushed” by two of my former players. They were so excited to see me. They were attending a birthday party at the same restaurant where I was and their parents said that they freaked when they saw me. To hell with the birthday party, they had to go see “Coach JP”.

I will definitely be returning to the Tee Ball field this coming spring. I am extremely happy that I didn’t let a ridiculous and unwarranted lack of confidence in my ability to effectively coach these kids prevent me from taking on the responsibility.

If you enjoyed this excerpt and would like to gain access to the rest of the valuable information presented in this book, click here to visit the store and grab your copy today. Use the code CONFIDENCE to receive an additional 10% off of the purchase price.


2 Responses

  1. kyle

    you need to write a book on attracting women
    from what I’ve seen on twitter, you do quite well in this area and it would be great if you could share your knowledge

    December 19, 2013 at 3:03 am

    • When you got it, you got it 🙂

      December 19, 2013 at 3:07 am

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