Getting Away With Murder

by Sunshine

This article is for entertainment purposes only.

Sometimes people just need to die.  Here are 10 tips that might help you avoid getting caught.  Remember almost 40% of murders remain unsolved.

1.      Consider a revolver since it retains the brass.  Primer impingement is a valuable forensic tool.

2.      Be mindful of surveillance cameras.  ATM cameras are routinely used in criminal investigations.

3.      Do not have your cell phone in your possession.  Every cell tower that your phone registered on can be determined at a later time.

4.      Obviously take care to not leave prints, hairs, bodily fluids, clothing fibers, etc… It is equally important that the same precautions are taken to ensure none of that type of evidence belonging to the victim can be tied to you.

5.      Ditch the weapon.  It’s not worth keeping it no matter what.

6.      Don’t use your own vehicle.

7.      Choose a body disposal sight wisely.  Remember no body, no crime.

8.      Tasers are very useful for temporarily immobilizing the victim.  Then you can gag, restrain, and relocate.

9.      Only use oxygen-producing detergents for clean up.  Researchers at the University of Valencia tested oxygen bleach on bloodstained clothing for two hours and found that it destroys all DNA evidence. Forensic tests such as luminal tests rely on the ability of blood to uptake oxygen.  A protein in the blood called hemoglobin (responsible for transporting oxygen throughout the body) reacts with hydrogen peroxide and gives a positive test result.  Chlorine-based detergents contaminate blood, but leave behind intact hemoglobin. However, detergents that produce oxygen bubbles cause the blood to degrade and no longer uptake oxygen.

10.    And the number one most important thing to remember is don’t do it yourself if you have an obvious motive. Even though it won’t be nearly as fulfilling to outsource the job this would be highly advised.  Just be sure to select a competent “villain” to do it for you and then make certain that you have a rock solid alibi during the time the job goes down.  Don’t exchange cash, just owe him a future job…

“Sunshine” is a man with a wealth of experience in many less than socially acceptable arenas.  He’s done a lot of “dirt” in his day, and will be sharing with you readers some of the tricks of the trade.

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14 Responses

  1. MOA

    Take that, CSI!

    November 7, 2010 at 11:20 pm

  2. KTM

    Awesome. I will let you know how it goes 😉

    November 7, 2010 at 11:52 pm

  3. Drew

    HA! I didn’t know number 9. Thats awesome.

    November 8, 2010 at 6:55 am

  4. baffled

    What exactly does this have to do with strength?

    Weak.

    November 8, 2010 at 11:23 am

  5. Fish Taco

    ^ agreed. What’s the point of this?

    November 8, 2010 at 7:38 pm

  6. Bony

    @ baffled and Fish Taco Go to the home page, scroll all the way down, and read “Abandon hope all ye who enter here”

    November 8, 2010 at 8:55 pm

  7. R

    “This article is for entertainment purposes only.”

    November 8, 2010 at 10:38 pm

  8. David Long

    My problem is I have never had the desire to kill a stranger, and this is a must. There are people I would love to beat to death, but it’s pretty obvious who they are so it would take the po-po like 15 minutes to figure out it was me

    November 9, 2010 at 11:43 am

  9. Slowjoe

    Really think that this article, well-written as it is, should be taken down on taste grounds.

    November 9, 2010 at 4:33 pm

  10. Vim

    Agree with Bony.

    Nobody is forcing you to agree with what’s posted here. At the end of the day, you have to trust your own judgement on these sorts of things.

    Personally, i found this interesting. Because i know there’s a big difference between whats law, and what’s right and wrong.

    November 9, 2010 at 11:12 pm

  11. weasel

    Moral relativity, free speech, yada yada. Don’t we all come here to read about strength training?

    I hope Dexter is out there killing off serial killers and disposing of their bodies nationwide, but this isn’t where I want to read about how to be the next Dexter.

    November 11, 2010 at 10:45 pm

  12. KMT

    If I wanted to hear about where you do not like to read about great and interesting stuff in addition to a running forum about strength… with add’l articles about different facets related to it….I would shove my hand up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet.

    November 12, 2010 at 6:21 am

  13. Justin

    I hope this weeds out people who get offended easily.

    December 15, 2010 at 6:15 pm

  14. sapper09

    Sometimes people DO just need to die…

    “Remember almost 40% of murders remain unsolved.” I like those odds!

    December 18, 2010 at 8:24 am

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